Life's Cup of Tea

Friday, 6 September 2013

Blogtember: I am afraid


A story about a time you were very afraid.

I could quite easily tell you about the time I was so sure there was a small animal in my tent while camping on wild moorland .

Or about the time when I saw a fish in the sea I was swimming in (I have a massive phobia of fish.) causing me to have a flip out in middle of a beach. Why was I in the Sea anyway? I don't really know. 

Or about the time I had to sing solo in front of a small audience. 

All these moments caused my heart to race, my palms to become sweaty and that fuzzy feeling in your head. 

But I think that the time I was most afraid of is now. For the last 20 years of my life I had my life panned for me. I went to primary, school secondary school and went went to uni.


On the 5th July 2013 at 1430 I graduated and I knew that life as I had known it had changed for ever. I had been fearing that day for months, trying to desperately cram as much in before I had to really 'grow up'. As much as you can hope, not all friendships survive the jumps through life. I was afraid that the people I saw every day would drift away. I was afraid that any control I had had over my life would be lost to my parents, to the job market and to life itself!
And to a large extent I was right. As I sit here 2 months later I am really afraid. I am afraid of the interview that I have for my dream job. I am afraid that I am barely earning enough money to cover my transport to work. I am afraid of the loneliness I feel all the time with all my friends being so far away. I am afraid of the friendships that are already drifting away. 
Most of all I am afraid of what life holds for me now. Am I good enough for my chosen career path? Where will I be calling home in a years time?

"I'm scared to death of the speed of life"



I suppose in essence I am scared of 'The Speed of Life'. Thank you Miss Delta Goodrem for summing it up so wonderfully :)

So yes, I am not particularly fond of small things running around in the night, I am petrified of fish and I have a real aversion to performing to a crowd. But at the moment, it is actually my life that is kind of freaking me out!

Sorry for the ramble today. Have you ever reached a point in your life where you were / are like 'arrgghh!!'? And please... tell me there is someone else out there who hates fish??


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